GENERATIONAL GASLIGHTING: 1985 Car Advice That’s Still Costing You Thousands
Do you ever have one of those thoughts circling your head for years—quiet, unspoken, always just one sentence away from clarity? It hovers. Lingers. Then, out of nowhere, it hits you. You've been thinking about it every day. You've been seeing it every day. In the shop. On the road. At the dealership. Everywhere. Why have I not said this out loud yet? Not because it's dramatic. Not because it's trending. Because it matters. Because it applies to every car owner. Or at least... it should. It may not resonate with the 1% zipping by in-leased luxury they can't pronounce. But for the rest of us—the working, commuting, doing-our-best crowd? This needs to be said.
Let's Start Here
You love your dad. I get it. I love mine, too. He probably taught you how to ride a bike, grill a burger, and even hold a flashlight while he yelled at a bolt that wouldn't budge. But somewhere between "check the oil" and "real men fix their own cars," he handed you a toolkit complete with outdated advice. Advice that—while well-intentioned—has left too many people financially stranded and emotionally burned out. We call it Generational Gaslighting. Not malicious. Just passed down like your family lasagna recipe—with way too much ego and not enough seasoning.
The Safety Illusion We Keep Selling Ourselves
Let's be real—if you're a parent today, you've done your job. You ensured they went to school, checked their homework, and threw your back out touring overpriced colleges. You kept them fed, safe and monitored like a parole officer with a Costco membership. But when it comes to the car? Crickets. That two-ton machine they'll likely spend more time in than with you?
We handed them the keys and said, "You'll figure it out." Because to us, it's just a tool, right? Meanwhile, we obsess over our next car like it's a soulmate. Heated seats. Turbo packages. Wireless charging and ambient lighting. We pass down the worship of vehicles... not the wisdom.
So let me ask you:
Who came first—the kid who buys emotionally or the parent who models it? We love our children, no question. But we've either dropped the ball… or didn't even know there was a ball when it comes to car ownership.
Quick Reality Check
The everyday driver spends and average of 55 minutes a day behind the wheel.
Drives about 29 miles a day.
That's 340 hours a year sitting inside a rolling financial commitment.
Yet most young adults know more about customizing their DoorDash avatar than budgeting for a timing belt.
The Mirage of Modern Safety
Today's vehicles? They've got more sensors than a fighter jet. Front airbags. Side airbags. Curtain airbags. Knee airbags. Lane assist. Backup cameras. Proximity sensors. Blind-spot monitors that flash like a paparazzi meltdown. So if your kid isn't texting and is doing the speed limit… they're safe, right? Wrong. That's not ownership. That's just survival with seatbelts.
What We Did Teach Them
Let's give ourselves some credit—we tried:
Sent them to driving school.
Warned them about gas prices.
Told them to save money… right before co-signing a $40,000 loan they couldn't afford.
We called that "preparing them for life." But here's the truth: We taught them how to drive. We didn't teach them how to own.
What We Didn't Teach (But Should Have)
How to calculate the actual cost of ownership.
What depreciation actually means.
How to budget for repairs and routine maintenance.
That brakes, tires, and oil changes don't do themselves.
That emotional car buying = logical regret.
The Cycle on Repeat
We told them: "This car is just to get to school and work. You'll buy the real car later." Only now has "want" replaced "need." And no one even noticed. So they're commuting to class in a twin-turbo built for Autobahn fantasies Or hauling a podcast and a protein shake in a three-row SUV made for soccer teams they don't have. Or they're bragging about their lifted 4x4, even though their idea of "off-roading" is the gravel driveway up in Sedona—once a year. These aren't just buying habits. They're inherited behaviors—passed down like a garage of bad tools. And this particular recipe? It leaves you broke with a side of buyer's remorse.
The Real Cost
Let's break it down:
We overbuy based on image, not actual use.
We undersave because we assume "new" means "problem-free."
And we justify the mess by calling it "earned" or "deserved"—
even as we drown in depreciation and upside-down loans.
And just like that, we hand the whole cycle down to our kids… gift-wrapped in emotional logic and tinted windows.
So What Should We Actually Be Teaching?
Let's shift gears:
Ownership is more than driving.
It's budgeting, long-term planning, and self-accountability before the check engine light becomes your therapist.
Depreciation is real.
That new car? It loses 10% to 15% depreciation instantlyThis is due to the car officially becoming “used,” even if it’s in perfect condition.
That's not an investment—a paint job with a payment plan.
Maintenance isn't a chore. It's a lifelong relationship.
If you're old enough to finance a car, you're old enough to know brakes don't last forever
Tires don't rotate themselves while you're busy posting gas selfies.
Wants ≠ needs. But most people can't tell the difference behind the wheel—and call it "freedom."
A Reality Check From Someone Who's Been There
Look—I'm not pointing fingers. I'm in this with you. As a father of two and a guy who's spent over four decades watching twelve-year-olds grow into full-blown drivers... I've seen the same story on loop. This isn't a theory. This is grit-under-your-nails, grease-on-the-shirt, real life. I've had parents walk into my shop with that "I just saw Elvis" face. Frozen. Confused. Panicked. They thought they were handing overconfidence. Turns out they passed on confusion—with a 60-month interest rate. They're not bad parents. They were just never taught the other side of car ownership.
Here's the Bottom Line
You don't need a faster car. You don't need louder exhaust. You definitely don't need 17 cupholders that hold more regret than coffee. You need clarity. You need a plan. And you need to stop buying cars like you're still trying to win Prom King at a red light. Because empowerment doesn't live under the hood. It lives in the decision—before the dealership. Before the financing. Before the "I deserve it" logic kicks in. It's time to break the cycle. Own smarter. Driving is easy. Ownership is the hard part. And it's where the real power lives.
"You bought the car with excitement. You own it with frustration. That’s the cycle—unless you break it."
